The 15th meeting of the Dodie and Bones Club was held at
Parrots Bar and Grill conveniently located in the grand old city
of St. Peters, MO. This establishment was especially convenient
for Elaine, Laura and Jen who all lived within a 2.5 mile
radius. It was also pretty convenient for Nancy, Fred, Mark and
Teresa. Relatively speaking, Parrots was convenient for Matt,
Jeannette, Mark W & Clare as well. But once again, it was not so
convenient and a bit of a trek for our South St. Louisan Julie
B. Oh Jelly, why must you always be different?
....and it was really, really,
really inconvenient for Regie, Paul, and Janet
Once we were conveniently situated on the second floor of
this fine eatery we ordered and then consumed a plethora of
appetizers, sandwiches, salad and drinks. (All of which tasted
mighty fine to me.)
Nancy gaveled at 8:31:47 and tried to bring about some
semblance of order. We pretended to be impressed by her
authority and politely settled down enough to appease her.
Having satisfied her craving for power the 15th DBC meeting had
Mark, our sergeant at arms, was so busy entertaining everyone
by playing the air guitar and singing some of his favorite rock
tunes that we nearly forgot the inspirational message
recitation. Had it not been for one of the other members'
attention to order and protocol the following words of wisdom
delivered by Jelly B would have been lost forever:
"I think in one of my previous lives I was a
mighty queen, because I like everyone to do what I say."
Clare has added one more line to Julie’s message:
“Like not inviting Clare to breakfast.”
And now for something completely different......It should be
reported that at this month’s meeting your seckitary abstained
from all forms of minute taking. That grave responsibility was
left up to any and all members who were willing to try their
hand at this necessary but somewhat cumbersome function. Let’s
see how they did shall we?
Chip Off the Block Wilhlem Minutes
- 8:30 pm:
- Poor Clare, who has to work too hard, finally got
a vacation day and was purposely excluded from the Harrah’s
breakfast excursion this morning.
- They deserve no candy
- Elaine has a phlegm bag
- Nancy gaveled the meeting to order at 8:31:47 – toilet
- Elaine won’t do the minutes but insists on the
minute-taker doing things her way.
- Julie has a cold & snot is running down her face.
- She deserves it for not wanting me to attend the
- Matt is passing around ginormous onion rings
- Nancy is trying to talk, but no one is listening much
- I’m taking notes on the backside of this paper; I wonder
how long before Elaine objects to this practice?
- Bar Mitzvah’s $2,500
- 60th Anniversary – Rend Lake Vacation
- Major protocol error – no one asked for an Inspirational
- Matt is having all 7 of his kids Bar Mitzvahed next
- This pen just exploded, but I put it back together
- Elaine makes a suggestion for Dad’s birthday present.
- The Three Stooges are doing fascia & soffits at Matt &
Jeannette’s house. It will take 2 weeks. They started March
1 and are almost done. The gutter guards do a good job of
keeping both the leaves and the water out of the gutters.
- Elaine’s hand is still up but everyone (except me) is
- Elaine didn’t get to go to breakfast this morning
either, but at least she was invited.
- Did I mention that I didn’t get invited to breakfast
- Nancy thinks Elaine is twice as good as she (Nancy) is.
I think it has something to do with lawn mowers.
- Laura’s boss is named Marty. He was at a call doing
paramedic duty & Elaine yelled over to him to thank him for
something (lawn mowers?) while he was busy trying to save
lives. If all her neighbors die off, it will be all Elaine’s
- Nancy heard her name mentioned
- “Did you get the moon pie?”
then. Thank you Clare D. Wilhlem for taking these fine notes.
(Maybe it’s just me but I get the subtle feeling that Clare may
be a bit miffed due to the breakfast exclusion gaffe.)
Now, minutes by Mungo Sickis - 8:52
- Discussion on new ballpark memorial brick – makes us
sound like we are fat
- Lots of conversation going on at the east end of the
table, but I can’t hear
- Julie left early being mortified for not inviting Clare
to breakfast this morning
- Elaine just scratched the back of her neck. Perhaps she
- I sure hope Elaine doesn’t have Scrofula or leprosy or,
heaven forbid, the heartbreak of psoriasis.
- Elaine has ceased scratching
- Mark W. has 50 cents.
- Mark & Fred want to play darts
- Mark W is leaving in disgust. He will be going to bed
after going dodie.
- Matt’s brain is totally cluttered like an old attic.
(I thought she said "addict".
....interestingly Mme. Seckitary could not decipher this
entry in the handwritten minutes. She transcribed it
as "Matt’s brain is totally clitteo lik a fad attic/addict "
Nice try, Alane
....now here's something funny. I, your humble minutes
editor and webmaster was the actual hand-on minute-taker for
this particular subsection. However, I have absolutely
no recollection of having written the above lines. I
can't imagine impugning any of my siblings by accusing them
of surreptitiously altering the official minutes, yet
neither can I imagine why I might have written the above
lines. I am beginning to wonder if the minutes
notebook is possessed of a poltergeist.
- Teresa talked too quickly to hear
don't remember this one, either. I'm starting to get
- Mark stuck a fork or two into the beer pitcher.
- Loud music just started playing.
remember this one, though. Whew!
- Mark likes this music but I find it (in my old age) to
- Laura told story of rescuing a person with a lacerated
finger. (She was able to save it without amputation.) Then
the hospital was struck by a tornado
- Laura will now have another beer.
- Laura has begun to negotiate the bill with the barmaid.
- Nothing interesting happening at the east end of the
- Mark S. need some Schnapps
- (Make that Snaps)
- Teresa has licorice snap tusks (aka fangs). Sort of not
- Elaine stuck a Good ’N' Plenty into her nose and pulled
- New discovery: Licorice - of the sort contained in Good
'N' Plenty candies - causes a menthol reaction to nasal
And thus ends minutes by Matt. Well-done sir.
-- Thank You -- ed.
Following are observations made by
Miss Kitty Sickis – 9:25pm:
know & Laura can’t stand to think about it –
-- And Laura doesn't want to write about it, apparently. --
- She wants to throw up
- Sicking girls have no backbone
- Refills are free
- Too loud
- Elaine can’t count money
- Toilet time is wrong
- Jeannette does not have money in her pants
Hmmmm. Concise yet insightful. Thanks Laura.
Now minutes by Slots Machine Lloyd
– 9:40 p.m.
- Waitress gets a fine tip for her cheerful stair-stepping
- Matt eats the last Good ‘N Plenty
- Elaine calls for “QUIET”
- Laura and Teresa keep passing money around
- Jeannette sits on her chair backwards
- Matt doesn’t remember to race his chair tonight
- Mark wants Fred to sing Karaoke.
- Fred refuses again – perhaps he is too shy.
- Quinn and Maggie go bar-hopping during their spring
- Clare leaves with the beer money
- Mark only sings Karaoke in Japan
- Elaine is going to Mexico to investigate the liquor
- A moment of silence ensues
Thank you Nance. You truly have captured the essence of who
And finally, as the closing minute
taker, I AM TERESA!
- Why em see eh?
- This is a nice pen, but a dumb song – YMCA
- Laura is watching a movie, which is really music – If
you can call it that.
- Maggie’s having SOTB (a drink forced on her by Laura.)
- Jeannette wants to sing Oklahoma
- Matt performs Evita from the balcony
actuality it, it was only a few bars from the balcony scene -
"Don't Cry For Me, Argentina." Not the entire musical.
That would have been inappropriate.
- Teresa is unable to take notes
- Jen, Jeannette & Matt all have some of Maggie’s SOTB
- Nancy also partakes in the beach drink
- Teresa likes having SOTB with a straw
- Our waitress does not have a belly button
- Elaine’s cocaine usage becomes apparent – her nostril
has white powder in it (Or could it be from the Good ‘N
Plenty she previously shoved up there?)
- Fred will sing only for money
- There’s not enough money on the table to make Fred sing
- Matt & Elaine perform Joe Cocker renditions
- Mark is hip
- Mark plays all alone and does not “self-monitor”
- Fred is left handed
- Cardinals win again
- Elaine has great hand movements but I cannot hear her
- Matt tries to technically explain about the Luminator
Website so we stop listening.
Nice job of observing and recording your surroundings Teresa.
And there you have it. The minutes conclude at 10:25 p.m. and
the 15th DBC meeting probably ended some time after that.
As your seckitary I would like to extend my gratitude to each
of you who stepped up to the plate for me this month. Not only
did I get a well deserved break from the tedious and thankless
job of minute taking, but my name got mentioned many more times
than if I had been taking the notes myself. For that I am
Matt will arrange for the May 2006 meeting.
- Respectfully Submitted
this 18th day of April, 2006
Seckitary Alaine Inaz Sharkaway Macaroni
Please note that Alane broke her own record for the timeliness
of submitting written meeting minutes to the Webmaster.
These minutes were received less than twelve (12!) hours after
the conclusion of Meeting #15.
Well done, Madame Seckitary.