Minutes

DBC Meeting #6

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Held at the Duchesne Bar and Grill.

The July meeting of the DBC was held at Duchesne Bar and Grill in downtown St. Charles, MO.  Named after the local high school, this fine establishment is a friendly place where the Duchesne students can grab a quick brew between classes or relax with a shot of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboro’s after a long day of algebra and geography.  The menu and prices are similar to Fast Eddies with peel and eat shrimp, k-bobs and burgers but the crowd is manageable and tables are plentiful.  Because it was a school night, the DHS pom squad had already gone home to bed by the time we arrived.  Mungo and Mgus were sorry they missed them as they were hoping to teach them some DBC dance routines.

Our Chairperson/Steward (N. Slots Machine Lloyd) called the meeting to order at precisely 7:30, 7:35, 7:55, 8:12 and once again at 8:15.  She also gaveled the DBC seckitary at approximately 8:13.  It’s possible that the power and prestige associated with the position of Chairperson/Steward has gone to her head and it may be time to curtail her plastic gavel rights.  (Either that or it was a willy-nilly night with the members running amuck and order was thrown out with the first bucket of beer.)

The inspirational reading had to be delayed because Chip Off the Block and Wally Ball Wilhlem were not in attendance yet. A quick call soon revealed that they had the dates wrong and were planning on being there the following night.  Making up for lost time, they hurriedly made themselves presentable and arrived in short order.  Now the Inspirational Guru was able to proceed.  Unfortunately she had now forgotten the night’s passage and had to take a moment to regroup.  It was worth the wait however as we all marveled at her wisdom when she so eloquently shared these motivational words with the club....

“The next time you go to the doctor, go ahead and bring a stool sample.  They might need it.  Better go ahead and bring one to the dentist too.”

Following the few moments of silence we all took to fully digest the night’s inspirational message, members were presented with their DBC official membership package.  (Out of town members, in town absentees and emeritus members should have received their membership packages as well by now.  Please contact management if yours has not arrived.)  The joy of actually being a full-fledged DBC member was apparent in everyone’s face and it was with great pride that we all ceremoniously donned our DBC badge.

Having conducted all official DBC points of order we then got down to the business of current events, world news discussion and socialization.  Because many of these topics are thought provoking, mind enriching and highly enlightening they have been recorded and outlined below for the benefit of those absent.

1. Julie is wearing shiny rhinestone encrusted sandals.

2. Jen needs weekend cat hospitality

3. Laura is wearing large round glasses.  She says she can’t help it and asks that we not make fun of her glasses.  We do anyway and she is sulking because she has ugly glasses on.

4. We first remember drinking BudLight in 1982.

5. Julie has a boogie board.

6. Beer is good – Gin is bad.

7. Julie’s friend Mary’s Mom was so fat that they had to take the driver’s seat out of her car and install a lawn chair for her to sit in while driving.

8. Julie has cable.

9. Jeannette does not want to be a jerk (or possibly a juk – can’t read the writing, but am assuming jerk because I don’t know what a juk is.)

10. Teresa has cleaned her drawers

11. No one is talking boring!

12. Laura has figured out sleeping arrangements for Matt and Jeannette on float trip.

13. Laura and Jen went over there.

14. Mark took Marianne’s volleyball team to a National Invitational Tournament and came in 39th place.

15. Fred is working tonight – a likely story.

16. Matt can prove asymmetrical distension

17. Jeannette leaves to be w/Luke

18. Matt walks Jeannette to the car

19. Everyone thinks of fun things so Elaine will think she missed something while making dodie.

20. People in Pool area have crazy legs

21. Elaine talks to a stranger

22. Mark W. watches All-Star game on TV and eats popcorn

23. Mark W. claims he makes better popcorn than here

24. Mark S. sings Toot-Toot-Tootsie in Regie’s honor

25. Laura can wear her glasses on her forehead

26. Nancy takes some mighty fine notes for Elaine

27. Elaine cleans the table

28. Matt wants to give demo of website

29. Largo = Jargon + Lingo

30. Elaine can’t close top button of her shorts

31. Mark W. networks with pool players

32. Matt can’t get secret business to work properly (problem was only on Matt's laptop.  The network site will work correctly -- Ed.)

33. Julie gets fresh w/Teresa

34. Cheating in school helped Mark S. a lot.

35. Elaine gives Laura a big white plastic bag

36. Clare head-butts Elaine

37. Julie too lazy to turn around and watch Mark W. talk to ugly girl

38. Matt made 1st public DBC announcement at Claire’s wedding without waiting for Elaine and wants recognition in minutes for same.

39. Lainey Cat & Marcus have lots of work to bring their house up to code for selling

40. National League losing 7-0

41. Matt and Clare are horrible note takers and Mark S. can’t write.

42. Teresa is doing something bad and leading Laura down that path as well.

43. DBC owners won’t let Laura have bottle caps until she leaves because she might flick them.

44. Insults by Clare re: Elaine

45. Mary is/is not making door mats

46. We need a new pen

47. Grandpa Gus shoots Santa Claus and East Bunny

48. There are lots of empty beer bottles on tables

49. Julie’s friend exploded

50. Why won’t the guy just give Laura the bottle caps now?  Why must she wait until she leaves?  She promises not to flick them.

51. Teresa is drinking a lot

52. Jen makes way too many quotation marks to suit Laura

53. Elaine is paranoid and calls Laura an ugly name for some strange reason.

54. Elaine has control – take it out!!

55. Elaine also calls Nancy the same ugly name when she writes notes about double chins.

56. Mark S. arrives at 7:55 – Will he never be on time?

57. Ben is Albert Pujols.

58. We have more money in the beer pot now than when we started.  We really should drink more.

59. Culvers beats Steak ‘N Shake any day.

60. People are singing and they sound retarded.

61. What is the true official name of a rollie pollie?

62. Mark is holding his head

63. Matt doesn’t work for Ford and Mark is singing again.

64. Julie is pretending to listen to Clare but really she is making a grocery list in her head.

65. Why don’t Regie or Paul ever come to the meetings?  Do they think they are too good for us?

66. Mark W. is having hot flashes.

67. Now Julie is yawning.

68. Poor Teresa!  I wish she could have come tonight.

69. Nancy has excellent posture.

70. "Onomatopoeia" is new code word (Note: We will not mention in these minutes that Madame Seckitary spelled it "Onomonipia"  in her original notes, because we don't want to embarrass her  -- Ed.)

71. Julie received a call from an escort service at 2:00 a.m.

72. Nancy has to go dodie again.

73. Julie is yakking and yakking and yakking.

74. The 4th of July is now over – Mark didn’t know it was in July this year. 

75. Elaine and someone who looks like Teresa have to go dodie.  (Maybe bones?)

76. Mary does NOT make doormats.

77. Elaine got stuck in the bathroom when the lock didn’t open.

78. Score 7-5 @10:20

79. Nancy had the gift of tears

80. Clare and Mark left at 10:23

81. Moot Point

82. Nancy wants to kick out her priest

83. Mark S. called the official minutes “Bones”

84. Julie hates Gary Shandling

85. Laura hates him too

86. Elaine loves Gary Shandling

87. Nancy thinks he’s so/so.

88. "Bones" on TV -- new TV show title?

89. Matt does like Gary Shandling indeed

90. Elaine spit her water back – Do not play jokes on the club seckitary

91. We are never eating at Hardees because of their commercial

92. Matt doesn’t mind it.

93. Teresa has the cutest young face in town – if only she would come to the meetings.

94. Paul and Jan went to Hawaii

95. Julie’s lifelong favorite cat has been found.

96. Julie’s cat made some bones that smelled for 3 weeks.

97. Jen might be a Baptist posing as a Catholic to gain acceptance.

There was a 25-cent bet placed on whether Mark W. would show.  The following members came out 25 cents ahead:

• I am Teresa!

• Dixie McCall

• Alane Macaroni

• LaConte of J.

Our thanks to Mark W. for showing up.

And because inquiring minds want to know, this week’s survey is as follows:

• Matt        Yes

• Nancy      No

• Elaine      Yes

• Julie        2 Times

• Teresa     Yes (and the sink)

• Jen          Yes

• Laura       Yes

• Jeannette  Yes

What we’re not telling those of you who didn’t show is what the survey topic was.  

We had a special guest at this month’s meeting.  A warm welcome was extended by all DBC members to Ms. Jennifer Norton, guest of Miss Kitty and friend to all.  Jen served as designated driver to some of the St. Charles/St. Peters members and also carted our South St. Louis member to her father in law’s car located at Horstmeiers Bar.  (Why we wonder was Mr. B’s car left at a bar when he himself is wheelchair bound and unable to drive?)

This meeting lasted longer than our norm, and I don’t believe it was ever officially adjourned, so we were left to our own devices to determine departure time.  We believe it ended somewhere around 11:30 pm..

Final Club Business

Membership Badges:  Now that everyone has theirs, they will be a requirement for participation in all future meetings.  They should also be worn to any club sponsored events.

The August meeting will be the family float trip the weekend of August 6th.  Please see Laura for details.

We still don’t have Jan’s new club name correct.  Clare says it should have been Interplanet Janet because it rhymes.  So henceforth, she will be called Interplant Janet.  (Henceforth meaning: until we or Janet come up with another name.  We're flexible.  -- Ed.)

And lastly my thanks to Slots, Dixie and Miss Kitty for helping with the minutes of this month’s meeting.  They recorded many of the highlights listed above during my bathroom breaks and attention span failures.

- Respectfully submitted this 15th day of July, 2005

- Alane Inaz Sharkaway Macaroni - Seckitary