Minutes

DBC Meeting # 15
April 17, 2006

Parrot�s Bar & Grill
2951 Old Highway 94, St. Peters, MO

The 15th meeting of the Dodie and Bones Club was held at Parrots Bar and Grill conveniently located in the grand old city of St. Peters, MO. This establishment was especially convenient for Elaine, Laura and Jen who all lived within a 2.5 mile radius. It was also pretty convenient for Nancy, Fred, Mark and Teresa. Relatively speaking, Parrots was convenient for Matt, Jeannette, Mark W & Clare as well. But once again, it was not so convenient and a bit of a trek for our South St. Louisan Julie B. Oh Jelly, why must you always be different?

....and it was really, really, really inconvenient for Regie, Paul, and Janet
---ed.

Once we were conveniently situated on the second floor of this fine eatery we ordered and then consumed a plethora of appetizers, sandwiches, salad and drinks. (All of which tasted mighty fine to me.)

Nancy gaveled at 8:31:47 and tried to bring about some semblance of order. We pretended to be impressed by her authority and politely settled down enough to appease her. Having satisfied her craving for power the 15th DBC meeting had begun.

Mark, our sergeant at arms, was so busy entertaining everyone by playing the air guitar and singing some of his favorite rock tunes that we nearly forgot the inspirational message recitation. Had it not been for one of the other members' attention to order and protocol the following words of wisdom delivered by Jelly B would have been lost forever:

"I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty queen, because I like everyone to do what I say."

Clare has added one more line to Julie�s message:

�Like not inviting Clare to breakfast.�

And now for something completely different......It should be reported that at this month�s meeting your seckitary abstained from all forms of minute taking. That grave responsibility was left up to any and all members who were willing to try their hand at this necessary but somewhat cumbersome function. Let�s see how they did shall we?

Chip Off the Block Wilhlem Minutes - 8:30 pm:

•  Poor Clare, who has to work too hard, finally got a vacation day and was purposely excluded from the Harrah�s breakfast excursion this morning.
• They deserve no candy
• Elaine has a phlegm bag
• Nancy gaveled the meeting to order at 8:31:47 � toilet time
• Elaine won�t do the minutes but insists on the minute-taker doing things her way.
• Julie has a cold & snot is running down her face.
• She deserves it for not wanting me to attend the breakfast festivities.
• Matt is passing around ginormous onion rings
• Nancy is trying to talk, but no one is listening much
• I�m taking notes on the backside of this paper; I wonder how long before Elaine objects to this practice?
• Bar Mitzvah�s $2,500
• 60th Anniversary � Rend Lake Vacation
• Major protocol error � no one asked for an Inspirational Guru message.
• Matt is having all 7 of his kids Bar Mitzvahed next Saturday.
• This pen just exploded, but I put it back together
• Elaine makes a suggestion for Dad�s birthday present.
• The Three Stooges are doing fascia & soffits at Matt & Jeannette�s house. It will take 2 weeks. They started March 1 and are almost done. The gutter guards do a good job of keeping both the leaves and the water out of the gutters.
• Elaine�s hand is still up but everyone (except me) is ignoring her
• Elaine didn�t get to go to breakfast this morning either, but at least she was invited.
• Did I mention that I didn�t get invited to breakfast today?
• Nancy thinks Elaine is twice as good as she (Nancy) is. I think it has something to do with lawn mowers.
• Laura�s boss is named Marty. He was at a call doing paramedic duty & Elaine yelled over to him to thank him for something (lawn mowers?) while he was busy trying to save lives. If all her neighbors die off, it will be all Elaine�s fault.
• Nancy heard her name mentioned
• �Did you get the moon pie?�

Alrighty then.  Thank you Clare D. Wilhlem for taking these fine notes.  (Maybe it�s just me but I get the subtle feeling that Clare may be a bit miffed due to the breakfast exclusion gaffe.)

Now, minutes by Mungo Sickis - 8:52 pm:

• Discussion on new ballpark memorial brick � makes us sound like we are fat
• Lots of conversation going on at the east end of the table, but I can�t hear
• Julie left early being mortified for not inviting Clare to breakfast this morning
• Elaine just scratched the back of her neck. Perhaps she has scabies.
• I sure hope Elaine doesn�t have Scrofula or leprosy or, heaven forbid, the heartbreak of psoriasis.
• Elaine has ceased scratching
• Mark W. has 50 cents.
• Mark & Fred want to play darts
• Mark W is leaving in disgust. He will be going to bed after going dodie.
• Matt�s brain is totally cluttered like an old attic.  (I thought she said "addict".

....interestingly Mme. Seckitary could not decipher this entry in the handwritten minutes.  She transcribed it as "Matt�s brain is totally clitteo lik a fad attic/addict "  Nice try, Alane

-- ed.

• Fred and Clare went to play darts because Mark W. left (after going dodie.)

• Laura discussing Rend Lake
• Maybe we should all get our picture taken in really old fashioned clothing.
• Maybe not.
• Elaine and Laura are not communicating effectively.
• No one is talking to Elaine or to Mark. Probably because they aren�t being funny.
• Mom wants Dad to stay away from dancing girl. (But only at the Casino.)
• There is moisture on the notebook � but Elaine says it�s okay.
• Elaine is very, very bad because she isn�t doing the minutes and she�s NOT busy.

....now here's something funny.  I, your humble minutes editor and webmaster was the actual hand-on minute-taker for this particular subsection.  However, I have absolutely no recollection of having written the above lines.  I can't imagine impugning any of my siblings by accusing them of surreptitiously altering the official minutes, yet neither can I imagine why I might have written the above lines.  I am beginning to wonder if the minutes notebook is possessed of a poltergeist.

.

-- ed.

• Teresa talked too quickly to hear

I don't remember this one, either.  I'm starting to get scared.

-- ed.

• Mark stuck a fork or two into the beer pitcher.

 Yikes!

-- ed.

• Loud music just started playing.

I remember this one, though.  Whew!

-- ed.

• Mark likes this music but I find it (in my old age) to be obnoxious.
• Laura told story of rescuing a person with a lacerated finger. (She was able to save it without amputation.) Then the hospital was struck by a tornado
• Laura will now have another beer.
• Laura has begun to negotiate the bill with the barmaid.
• Nothing interesting happening at the east end of the table
• Mark S. need some Schnapps
• (Make that Snaps)
• Teresa has licorice snap tusks (aka fangs). Sort of not pretty
• Elaine stuck a Good �N' Plenty into her nose and pulled it out.
• New discovery: Licorice - of the sort contained in Good 'N' Plenty candies - causes a menthol reaction to nasal membranes.

And thus ends minutes by Matt. Well-done sir.

-- Thank You -- ed.

Following are observations made by Miss Kitty Sickis � 9:25pm:

• Jeannette doesn�t know & Laura can�t stand to think about it �

  -- And Laura doesn't want to write about it, apparently. -- ed.

   

• She wants to throw up
• Sicking girls have no backbone
• Refills are free
• Too loud
• Elaine can�t count money
• Toilet time is wrong
• Jeannette does not have money in her pants

Hmmmm. Concise yet insightful. Thanks Laura.

Now minutes by Slots Machine Lloyd � 9:40 p.m.

• Waitress gets a fine tip for her cheerful stair-stepping service
• Matt eats the last Good �N Plenty
• Elaine calls for �QUIET�
• Laura and Teresa keep passing money around
• Jeannette sits on her chair backwards
• Matt doesn�t remember to race his chair tonight
• Mark wants Fred to sing Karaoke.
• Fred refuses again � perhaps he is too shy.
• Quinn and Maggie go bar-hopping during their spring break
• Clare leaves with the beer money
• Mark only sings Karaoke in Japan
• Elaine is going to Mexico to investigate the liquor dispensers
• A moment of silence ensues

Thank you Nance. You truly have captured the essence of who we are.

And finally, as the closing minute taker, I AM TERESA!
10:00 p.m.

• Why em see eh?
• This is a nice pen, but a dumb song � YMCA
• Laura is watching a movie, which is really music � If you can call it that.
• Maggie�s having SOTB (a drink forced on her by Laura.)
• Jeannette wants to sing Oklahoma
• Matt performs Evita from the balcony

In all actuality it, it was only a few bars from the balcony scene - "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina."  Not the entire musical.  That would have been inappropriate.

-- ed.

• Teresa is unable to take notes
• Jen, Jeannette & Matt all have some of Maggie�s SOTB drink.
• Nancy also partakes in the beach drink
• Teresa likes having SOTB with a straw
• Our waitress does not have a belly button
• Elaine�s cocaine usage becomes apparent � her nostril has white powder in it (Or could it be from the Good �N Plenty she previously shoved up there?)
• Fred will sing only for money
• There�s not enough money on the table to make Fred sing
• Matt & Elaine perform Joe Cocker renditions
• Mark is hip
• Mark plays all alone and does not �self-monitor�
• Fred is left handed
• Cardinals win again
• Elaine has great hand movements but I cannot hear her
• Matt tries to technically explain about the Luminator Website so we stop listening.

Nice job of observing and recording your surroundings Teresa.

And there you have it. The minutes conclude at 10:25 p.m. and the 15th DBC meeting probably ended some time after that.

As your seckitary I would like to extend my gratitude to each of you who stepped up to the plate for me this month. Not only did I get a well deserved break from the tedious and thankless job of minute taking, but my name got mentioned many more times than if I had been taking the notes myself. For that I am grateful.

Matt will arrange for the May 2006 meeting.

- Respectfully Submitted
this 18th day of April, 2006
Seckitary Alaine Inaz Sharkaway Macaroni

Please note that Alane broke her own record for the timeliness of submitting written meeting minutes to the Webmaster.  These minutes were received less than twelve (12!) hours after the conclusion of Meeting #15.

Well done, Madame Seckitary.

-- ed.